We all want to receive support of some kind – whether spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or financial. Usually we expect that support to come from our loved ones, although there are times when we would like it from the world at large. And in our moments of struggle, we demand it from the Universe.

But exactly what is this support that we all crave, and what form should it take in our relationships? Are women and men supposed to give the same kind of support to each other? Or are there differences?

What is the right kind of support? What is a healthy amount that sustains you and still enables you to be independent in the important ways?

All very good questions! And while the answers are usually clear to me, there are times when the dynamics in a particular relationship make the distinctions of what’s needed on the part of each person unclear.

So we’ll start with the general basis for determining the kind of support that is best given to support your mate in a healthy and balanced relationship. After that, it is up to each of us as women to delineate the shades of gray that are acceptable to us.

Since I believe that women set the tone for their relationship and can actually create the true foundation for its growth – that is, if they take their responsibility to do so seriously – the most important support that women can provide for men is spiritual and emotional.

Spiritual support is demonstrated through your own connection to the Universe in whatever form works best for you. The idea is that you develop your inner strength through your Soul Self which then manifests through your way of being in the relationship. Your faith is in your Higher Power, your God, your Goddess, your Highest Truth, the Universe, and by showing this in a consistent manner to your partner, you are helping him to develop that trust in the Universe as well through following your leadership.

The second means of support for women to provide is emotional support. Now this doesn’t mean you become the mother nurturing your little boy. Heavens NO! No equality ever going to come out of that set-up! Rather once again you become the role model for Emotional Independence, demonstrating that while you are there to provide him with love, compassion, and understanding, you are not encouraging dependency.

Of course, this is your challenge as women to develop this state of Emotional Independence in your selves. It is a balance of sharing yourself but yet still relying on yourself to manifest stability. The more you have released that which no longer serves you emotionally, the closer you become to attaining your Emotional Independence. It is necessary for you to go this way if there’s to be any hope of your man being able to go this way as well.

And I can assure you, without this state of Emotional Independence, you will not have a healthy interdependent union with your man!

In Loving Light,

Dr. Pamela

Dr. Pamela works to help women evolve into their highest selves and attain their potential in all areas of their lives. To gain insight into your journey to your Higher Self, check out her Human Relations Center for Women.