That which you seek the most outside of yourself is that which you feel you are missing or lacking the most inside of yourself. In other words, you are trying to fill some kind of a hole or space or emptiness within. You believe that if only you can find the external fulfillment of that which you desire that you would then be satiated and filled internally.

While this certainly sounds like a plan and even seems to be the course of action most women take, I can assure you that this approach will leave you feeling as empty and unfulfilled as when you began. Oh sure, you might experience some temporary relief, perhaps a brief respite from the pain of being alone and left to your own resources.

But very soon after this state of highness, you will come to realize that it’s not a tangible reality within your own beingness. Think of it like taking a drug. Sure you first experience a blissful high, but then what happens? You come down, or perhaps even crash if it was an extreme state of highness that you artificially induced.

Well, trying to fill your void with anything external has the same effect and consequence. It feels great for a while and then you find yourself feeling down and low and wanting or needing more of whatever the stimulus was for you. You begin to believe that it’s the only solution to your wellbeing.

Anyone who has experienced these cycles of rising and falling and feeling out of control of either polarity knows what I’m talking about. While it’s nice to attain something that makes you feel good or even much better, unless you can connect the dots within yourself, you will not be able to hold onto this fleeting state of euphoria.

But don’t worry. You can still use your external situations, relationships, and opportunities as a vehicle to help you connect within. After all, everything you attract into your life is a reflection of an aspect of you. It may be something that exists in potential within yourself, or it may be an issue that troubles you.

The point is, if you brought it into your life, it’s there to serve as a roadmap to some point of internal destination. So I remind you again that that which you seek the most externally is that which you feel you are missing or lacking internally.

So if it is a loving relationship you most desire, then it is because you need to learn how to love your Self. Often, when we name what it is we want from a partner, we can become clearer about what it is we most need to provide for our Selves.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t also receive this love from your guy, but true fulfillment will only be felt once you also experience real love within for your Self. Otherwise, you end up in a state of dependency – needing your drug constantly to create the state of Love for you.

Until you are able to produce this internal state of Love for your Self with or without a man, I’m afraid you’ll remain a “junkie of love” – always chasing your next high, and never feeling you have enough!

In Loving Light,

Dr. Pamela