Attachment is the cause of all suffering! Wow, that’s a powerful statement, but what does it really mean? After all, aren’t we supposed to develop attachments to people, situations, and things while we’re here?

Well, at first, you may think the answer is yes. When it comes to relationships, you probably believe that attachment is even necessary. It seems to be the very glue that keeps you together.

But that’s the point! Glue – whether physical or not – shouldn’t be what’s holding you in place. Glue creates a sticky mess, often needs reapplying, and it makes you feel stuck.

On some level, you may think you desire this sense of stuckness with your partner. Perhaps you believe then that he’ll never leave you. But I also think that many of you have had the experience of keeping your man physically, while he actually leaves you mentally and emotionally.

For anyone who’s been in this situation, I can assure you that this is no fun! Not only are you stuck with each other physically, but you become internally stuck, as your growth becomes hampered and you remain stagnant – all in the name of “holding on to your man!”

Aaah – attachment – it’s not a beautiful thing after all. The reason it causes suffering is that it literally prevents you and your guy from moving forward in a natural progression of growth and evolvement – whether together or separately.

It encompasses you and takes over your life, making it more important that you stay attached to each other than that you find a healthier approach.

Attachment also leads to and creates all sorts of dependencies – including co-dependency – which pull both of you down. Attachment stems from fear and not from love. This fear takes over your ego-self to keep you repeating this unhealthy pattern. It’s as if an inner voice is saying over and over, “Don’t let go… Don’t let go… Don’t let go!”

And no matter what – you don’t let go! Although this is causing you great misery and unhappiness and is actually keeping you from the love you truly desire, still you do not let go. That’s some powerful fear overcoming you – fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of abandonment.

Interestingly, the fear of not being loved also plays a significant role in choosing attachment as your mode of operation. But I can assure you that this very fear is exactly what you will be realizing and facing in the reality that you are creating through attachment.

So next time you’re creating a relationship, or even if you’re already in one, keep this in mind when you make your choices. Instead of choosing attachment for your sense of security, opt for connection.

Connection allows your soul to do the work, while your ego lets go. Connection says I trust what the Universe is creating for me that serves me in terms of my growth. Connection implies that I love myself enough to not let attachment rule my life!

In Loving Light,

Dr. Pamela

Dr. Pamela works to help women evolve into their highest selves and attain their potential in all areas of their lives. To gain insight into your journey to your Higher Self, check out her Human Relations Center for Women.