Who doesn’t remember the words to that wonderfully expressed song by Tina Turner – “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” It is a valid question through the ages and particularly when it comes to relationships – romantic and otherwise.

As a therapist, I am privy to the yearnings and longings and pleas of all women. A universal theme seems to pervade the unhealthy dynamics of all concerned. I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve heard women describe the most disturbing and distorted behaviors displayed between them and their mate.

Now while it’s not my role to actually tell each client what they should do, it is my place to point out to them all the areas that are out of alignment and help guide them to a graceful resolution.

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That which you seek the most outside of yourself is that which you feel you are missing or lacking the most inside of yourself. In other words, you are trying to fill some kind of a hole or space or emptiness within. You believe that if only you can find the external fulfillment of that which you desire that you would then be satiated and filled internally.

While this certainly sounds like a plan and even seems to be the course of action most women take, I can assure you that this approach will leave you feeling as empty and unfulfilled as when you began. Oh sure, you might experience some temporary relief, perhaps a brief respite from the pain of being alone and left to your own resources.

But very soon after this state of highness, you will come to realize that it’s not a tangible reality within your own beingness. Think of it like taking a drug. Sure you first experience a blissful high, but then what happens? You come down, or perhaps even crash if it was an extreme state of highness that you artificially induced.

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