Do you feel that you don’t always get the respect you believe you deserve in your relationships? Do you feel that you’re truly not being valued for who you are or what you actually contribute to your partnership? Do you simply feel that you’re being patronized at times by your guy, as if you are a child, and he wants to make sure you’re treated accordingly?

I don’t know any women, personally or professionally, including myself, that can’t answer in the affirmative to these questions. In other words, we all have felt underrated, devalued, and disrespected at times.

But why is this so common? Do we really want to feel bad as a result of the words or actions of someone else? Not likely – unless you’re just masochistic and you’re seeking ill treatment to justify how bad you feel about yourself.

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After reading my horoscope in the Romance Department yesterday, it got me to thinking about boundaries. Here’s what it said:

“Setting boundaries is the key to handling relationship issues, especially as your responsibilities mount. Just remember that the key to setting boundaries is being willing to explore and reset them regularly.”

What actually are boundaries? Many people think they are walls that you place between you and your partner so that you don’t ever allow him fully in. While it’s true that boundaries by design will protect you and keep you safe within your scope of security, they are not actually walls.

Walls are usually in place from early on in your life. They were probably built after you discovered the outside world – including parents, siblings, peers, teachers, authority figures – was not safe. In fact, most of us have been in rather precarious situations throughout our young lives which created much insecurity and instability.

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