The true purpose of any healthy relationship is to become more of Who You Really Are. Through providing a reflection of different aspects of your Self, your mate serves to facilitate your process of developing yourself to a greater degree. Sometimes, your coming together serves as a reminder of Who You Are – sometimes it becomes your Wake Up Call!

In all cases, you strive to complete yourself through your being dynamically and romantically involved with another. Essentially, you are being provided with the opportunity to “find your Self” as you grow in love with your partner.

Why then are so many women doing the opposite, and rather than becoming, they’re actually losing themselves in their unions with men? Why would any woman feel that her total self-denial would lead to her greatest happiness?

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Who doesn’t remember the words to that wonderfully expressed song by Tina Turner – “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” It is a valid question through the ages and particularly when it comes to relationships – romantic and otherwise.

As a therapist, I am privy to the yearnings and longings and pleas of all women. A universal theme seems to pervade the unhealthy dynamics of all concerned. I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve heard women describe the most disturbing and distorted behaviors displayed between them and their mate.

Now while it’s not my role to actually tell each client what they should do, it is my place to point out to them all the areas that are out of alignment and help guide them to a graceful resolution.

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Expectation… such a great and powerful word. Most of us want our expectations not only fulfilled but exceeded. And why not? After all, don’t I have the right to expect what I want, how I want it, when I want it, and in the precise manner I want it?

Sure you do! In fact, we all do! The problem comes in when you try to impose your expectations – great and otherwise – on someone else. Your boyfriend, your partner, or your husband, for instance. Here’s where you begin wading in murky waters.

While you can share your hopes, dreams, and desires with another, you can’t force them into obedient compliance. Okay, well you can if you’re running the military program in your relationship!

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