We all want to receive support of some kind – whether spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or financial. Usually we expect that support to come from our loved ones, although there are times when we would like it from the world at large. And in our moments of struggle, we demand it from the Universe.

But exactly what is this support that we all crave, and what form should it take in our relationships? Are women and men supposed to give the same kind of support to each other? Or are there differences?

What is the right kind of support? What is a healthy amount that sustains you and still enables you to be independent in the important ways?

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Who doesn’t remember the words to that wonderfully expressed song by Tina Turner – “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” It is a valid question through the ages and particularly when it comes to relationships – romantic and otherwise.

As a therapist, I am privy to the yearnings and longings and pleas of all women. A universal theme seems to pervade the unhealthy dynamics of all concerned. I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve heard women describe the most disturbing and distorted behaviors displayed between them and their mate.

Now while it’s not my role to actually tell each client what they should do, it is my place to point out to them all the areas that are out of alignment and help guide them to a graceful resolution.

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Expectation… such a great and powerful word. Most of us want our expectations not only fulfilled but exceeded. And why not? After all, don’t I have the right to expect what I want, how I want it, when I want it, and in the precise manner I want it?

Sure you do! In fact, we all do! The problem comes in when you try to impose your expectations – great and otherwise – on someone else. Your boyfriend, your partner, or your husband, for instance. Here’s where you begin wading in murky waters.

While you can share your hopes, dreams, and desires with another, you can’t force them into obedient compliance. Okay, well you can if you’re running the military program in your relationship!

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